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In reality, the things I want are fantastic nights out followed by lots of sex – but sadly they didn’t seem to top his list of priorities.
It might sound harsh to ditch someone because they’re happy simply cuddling on the sofa once a week, but as a single mum, my free time when I can actually leave the house is precious, and I certainly didn’t want to waste it watching telly with Tom.
I once crammed four dates with different men into two days, but as my ability to pick interesting and nice men online seemed to be rather lacking, having four bad dates in two days was just too depressing to repeat. But I still think I deserve someone really special.
Although I had no intention of introducing any of these casual dates to my son, the fact I am a parent did make me feel differently about whom I was choosing to spend time with. I’m sure anyone who has tried online dating has come across the married people, or the guys who are actually a foot shorter, 10 years older and 3st heavier than their profile suggests.
And, of course, the only way to find guys if you’re at home every night while your child is asleep is online dating.
Their negativity was surprising and quite upsetting at times. One friend suggested I should just focus on being by myself, while a particularly charming family member questioned why being a mother wasn’t ‘enough for me’.
They even implied that I should wait until my son was 16 – only another 15 years on my own then!
Gradually I introduced him to Josh, and I also felt like I could trust him with my post-baby body.
That’s another part of hook-ups I’ve found difficult – someone who isn’t the father of my child (and therefore has no obligation to be kind) seeing my body.
Aside from the obvious safety issues, nobody expects child-free, single women to be happy with dates in their own living room, so why should I settle for that?